How soon should you call her?

16 Aug

So you got her number? Congrats! But now what? How long do you wait until you call? Should you call or text? If she doesn’t answer, do you leave a message or try back later? But what if somehow the phone service screwed up and she never saw that you tried to call????!!!!

Listen up, boys. I’m going to make this really simple. Forget everything that you learned from teen movies about 3-day rules. Forget what your friends told you. Forget about worrying how you might come across. If you got her number, you need to call her within 24 hours. I said it and I will repeat it again and again. If you want her, and you are interested, call that girl the VERY next day.

The 24-hour Rule

Call your girl within 24 hours, no exceptions. It doesn’t matter if she gave you her number over email through on-line dating or if you had a great first date and want to follow-up. 24 HOURS!!!! Please, this is not something you want to procrastinate on.

Here’s how we see it. Let’s say you asked us out on a date, and maybe we were on the fence but we said yes and gave you our phone number. From the time we leave the bar/event/bookstore/whatever until the next evening, you are on our minds. We are wondering…what is that guy like? Maybe I shouldn’t have given out my real number. What will I say if he calls????

We don’t forget about you, and our minds have 20 different trains of thoughts going on at any given minute. Believe me, you are one of them. So while 24 hours may not seem long to you, we’ve been on overdrive thinking about it. If you wait any longer than 24 hours, one of two things could happen:

1)   She will become insecure – He hasn’t called yet. Maybe he won’t think I’m cute when he sees me sober. Was it all in my head last night?? I thought we were flirting. Is he a player???

2)   She will feel like an afterthought – He waited until Monday to call me? Who does he think I am, little miss available? If he was really that into me, he would have made it a priority.

James Bond Behavior

One of the problems you will face is that most single women in their late 20’s (and older) have already been on multiple good dates. All it takes is one great man (we’ll call him James Bond) to make us feel special and – BAM! – the bar is set. From that date forward, we expect every man from there on out to be just as good, if not better, than that one instance. It’s my job to let you all know what the James Bonds of the world are doing so that you can learn. Because if James Bond is calling us within 24 hours after a great night together, you better believe you should be too.

Call don’t Text

At the beginning of a relationship, always call. Don’t worry, I’m a huge fan of texting, but that comes later. Call so she can hear your voice. There is nothing that says you are confident, excited, and even a little bit vulnerable (which we like) than you initiating the first phone call.

Example

[7:00pm Thursday] – You have been messaging online back and forth with a girl from match.com and have thrown around the idea of meeting. She seems into you, responds fairly quickly and consistently to you, and she ends the email with “…I’d be open to chatting on the phone sometime (650-867-5309). -Jenny”

[7:01pm Thursday] – Your phone tells you about the new message and you read it instantly.

You: SCOOOOOORE! I got her digits!!! *Happy dance* I got her num-ber. I got her num-ber. SH*T!#$% What do I do now? She said she would want to talk sometime, that sounds kind of casual…maybe I should play it cool and wait it out?

WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong. That ‘casual’ vibe you are getting is going through a girl filter. She really wants you to call her, but she doesn’t want to seem desperate. This is passive-aggressiveness at work. Remember your training!!!

[1:00pm Friday] – Meanwhile, back at her place…

Her: Hmm I wonder if he got my message? What if he calls me RIGHT NOW?? I’m at work…sh*t!! Ok, calm down, he won’t call you yet. But I’m keeping my phone by me just in case.

(ring, ring)

AHHHH THAT’S HIM!! OH wait, oh god no, it’s just my best friend. GOD I thought this was it.

…continues nonstop all day long, hour after hour….

[6:00pm Friday]

You: Hmm… I remember something about a 24-hour rule. I don’t want to seem desperate. Should I really call her?

YES, YES you should! She’s starting to doubt herself. James Bond would have phone-in-hand right now! Go!!!!

[6:30pm Friday] – After you ran a few scenarios in your head, and are now sweating balls…

(ring, ring)

Her: OMFG!! This is it, it’s a number I don’t recognize! “Hello…?”

You: “Hi, is this Jenny?”

Her: “Yes.”

You: “Hi, this is Zack, I wanted to call and introduce myself over the phone”

Her: “Oh Hi Zach! How’s it going??…”

Success. Keep the first call about 10 minutes long. You don’t want to tell your life story right away. Give her a hint and then let her think about it.

Remember…24 hours!!!!!

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